Monday, April 20, 2009

I Don't Know What To Do

Today was the first day of my resit examination. I swear that this paper is not a last minute preparation. I've tried so hard for it. I tried to memorize as much as I can. I tried to stay away from laptop as long as I can. I tried to claim myself down before the exam. I thought I'd read enough to go for the exam. Maybe that was not enough.

During the exam, I sat at a place where the air-cond blew directly to me. The air-cond was switching on and off because I asked the lecturer to do so. It was cold, real cold. Looking at the questions paper, I was scared. I answered some, but some I left it blank, bringing extra cold to me. I already wrote as much as I can. Even those that might not be relevant, I also wrote. I looked around hoping someone would provide me some answers.

I am scare. The paper was just 50-50. I scared I will fail this subject. I scared I will not graduate my diploma because of this subject. I don't want to make my parents disappointed. I don't wanna see my friend graduated while I'm lefted out.

I already registered myself to further my studies in KL for Advance Diploma. I already planned the whole journey. Right after my Advance Diploma, I will go for ACCA. Then work, then take MBA. I even found a hostel in Plaza Prima Setapak. I'm paying for the deposits soon.

My mood was down after I walked out of the examination hall. Switch on the radio hoping to listen to some hot song that can change my mood while I was driving the way back home, but why is the radio playing all the sad songs when I need some rock songs? They were talking about Katy Perry and I was expecting "Hot n Cold" or even "I Kissed A Girl". Instead, they played Thinking of You by Katy Perry. Yes I am thinking of you, what would you do~~

I don't really know what should I do at the moment. All I did was slept the whole afternoon. Thinking what should I do if I really can't pass. And the other side of me think that I will pass. Luck was not by my side today. I can't talk much today, I'm staring at the screen knowing that I should do better in my next paper this Saturday but I can't. Maybe I should get some good sleep tonight and wake up tomorrow morning to study. Forget the pass, concentrate in the future. What had passed, remain unchanged. What's ahead, will be a better ones.

God, if you're kind enough, please help me for once again.
Chee Hsien


ah fat said...

may b u may think that i m not the suitable person to console u about this matter..But i think i am.

U everyone tot that i so pandai baca.Actually i face so many time of failure b4 i can be recognised as pandai baca. I even sit beside a sampah tang for being the dumb student in the class..My result is poor and my family is poor.Nobody wan to make friend wth me also..And nobody ..i really remember that time..and i never gv up b4 n ever..

Since u are just in expectation 50-50 only..dun give up la..Thk more positive and think more positive..dun say i 50% 0 60% 0 70% wll pass..Say to urself that u 100% will pass..And sure u will pass it..Worry worth nothing la..Sleep well 2nite..So pecut more 2moro..

Veronica Lim said...

As u think u can, then sure u can!
Dont let the surrouding affect u, but u affect ur self!
Do well on the next paper! Dont think off 1st paper, coz will juz affect ur concentration.
Rmb think positively, happy go lucky! Sure u will pass all ur paper!

Anonymous said...

Hi mate! Just happened to stumble into your blog. I am a TAR student just like you, now graduating from Diploma in Accounting.

Do not take your papers seriously! Stress can killed you, and the best way to handle it isn't just letting it go and let it be a burden on you. It's like a drug, it will consume your confidence in the future.

Be your best in what you do, exams are challenges in life that tests your patience.

If you don't know a certain topic, contact your friends so that they study with you together.

Oh, if your passion is on photography, how come you ended up in Accounting? o.o